Sunday, September 18, 2011


Disclaimer: This entry of my blog is going to be almost entirely whining about those silly things we refer to as emotions.  If you didn't like the fifth Harry Potter book, probably just skip this entry.  Because this will likely also be a novel, as there's a lot that I need to rant about and get off my chest.  I might tl;dr at the end if I feel like it.

You've been warned.

Apparently you're still reading, so here goes.  I seem to have forgotten the crushing boredom that comes with living a somewhat normal life in small-town Iowa.  Y'know, the reason I ended up at all those chat sessions in the first place.  Any reprieve from the endless gnawing ennui without being like the other kids and resorting to alcohol, sex and drugs seemed okay in my book.  And then I got Chosen and went on the run.  Now, I'm by no means saying that I ever, ever want to do that again, but you gotta realize that I was hopped up on extreme amounts of adrenalin nonstop for...two months-ish?  Yeah, back then what I wanted was reprieve from excitement.  And now, after all that, I'm finding it nearly impossible to readjust to my old life.  I don't connect as well with most of my old friends and classmates.  I can't seem to make myself care about school.  I can't seem to make myself care about much of anything, really.  I just feel...really out of place.  And, of course, there's the boredom.  It's crushing.  I barely managed it before I went on the run, now it's threatening to drive me completely batshit insane (instead of just somewhat batshit insane).  I CANNOT READJUST.

There have been a few escapes from the boredom of it all, though.  I got in a high speed car chase with a friend of mine a few weeks ago.  He was driving, hopped up on new cough medication and having just fallen in love.  (Newly lovestruck teens are absolutely hilarious.)  Also the cough medicine made his vision really really bad.  So when he saw one of our mutual friends waiting at a stoplight in her boyfriend's (race)car, he decided that the best idea would be to chase them.  Meanwhile, I'm clinging to my seat and the holy-shit-handle as we zoom around corners in residential neighborhoods at 90 mph.  Yeah, that was fun.  Also slightly terrifying, but I've been through much worse.  And then we drove into the woods, he got high off whipped cream and we went star-tipping.  Apparently those are things.  But being in the dark woods at night with only a friend who has just gotten high after initiating a car chase and does other illegal things for fun set off my horror movie senses pretty majorly, so we got the hell out of there.

Other than that, there hasn't been much interesting going on.  Homecoming's this week, I guess.  Been sewing an outfit for Spirit Day.  Found an old billy club at an antique shop.  It used to be black, but a lot of the paint's chipped off, especially on the handle and the business end.  It's obviously been used a lot.  The rawhide wrist strap is broken and retied in three or four places, too.  22 inches long from top to bottom.  It's really cool, except I keep really wanting an excuse to use it.  And violence is bad.  butgodisitfunsometimes

I've been swinging through phases pretty quickly, too.  Since I've changed so much over the summer, I guess that's my brain's way of  trying to figure out who the hell I am now and where I fall in the CIRCLE OF LIIIIIIFE?  I dunno, but I'm gonna be really, really brief here as I could write a book on this stuff as well.  I've gone from depressed suicidal existential nihilist (kicked my own ass a little to get myself out of that because goddamn am I dumb sometimes), promptly went full-on Killjoy (y'know, that group of characters that fights against something they can't possibly win against and they're fully aware of this, don't care and have decided to live forever by making one memorable last stand?  Yeah, goddamn am I dumb sometimes.), and seem to have finally regained my common sense.  I discovered that I actually have faith in humanity - pretty strong faith, no less - and these Wall Street protests are raising it to dizzying heights.  See?  Who needs Fluffy when we've got Anonymous?  People can take care of themselves on their own.  We're endlessly inventive, and everyone's got at least a little good and bad inside them.  If we can get more people to act on the good instead of the bad, we can do anything.  It's only been a few million years since we crawled out of the mud for the first time, and look how far we've come.

Anywho, I know I probably have a lot more to rant about, but I can't think of anything at the moment and I've probably already written way too much.  Been digging into my grandfather's past, should have that posted relatively soon, provided I don't procrastinate really badly like I usually do.  And with that, I bid you all a fond adieu.

tl;dr: Boredom isn't cool, car chases are cool, billy clubs are cool, going through phases rapidly can be cool or not cool depending on the phase, self-preservation is cool, my crazy IRA grandpa is cool...ish...oh, you'll see.

Okay, seriously, gotta wrap this up.  DOCTOR OUT!!!

P.S. - I suppose I should give you guys my email address if you want to contact me.  I can be reached at  If you drop me a line, I'll be sure to get back to you.

No comments:

Post a Comment