Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Lack of Updates

So maybe you're wondering why I haven't been posting much lately, despite being more or less back in action.  Or something.

Two reasons: one, we've been laying much lower than I had been last time, thus nothing really noteworthy has happened because we are oh so sneaky.  Or we're a really low priority or something.  Doesn't make a huge difference as far as I'm concerned.  Two, my own paranoia.  I've been very careful this time around, like I've said.  That means letting as little information that could POSSIBLY have negative consequences for me onto the internet as I can.  This means making every attempt to break my habit of spewing my feelings all over this blog and elsewhere online (though I'm finding it somewhat difficult at times), not even giving the tiniest hints as to our location or when we're on the move, not mentioning what supplies and weapons we have on us, the works.  I'm taking every precaution.  I take measures offline, too.  I specifically packed some of the more toned-down clothes in my wardrobe for this so I can blend into the crowd better.  As much as I'd like to look like a fantasy/action hero or something, it's not good for being incognito.  If I notice anything even a bit suspicious, I generally decide we should hightail it.  I usually use the term "skip town", so it's kinda become an in-joke among my companions and I that I react to every situation by skipping town.  It's kinda like an image macro meme.  "Homeless guy looks at you?  Skip town."  "Squirrel makes noises at you?  Skip town."  "Phone rings?  Skip town."

The sad part is, it's fairly accurate.  I'm of the opinion, however, that you can never be too paranoid.  Never.  Which is one of the reasons that I no longer really sleep, I just kinda collapse from exhaustion after a few days or so.  That, mixed with the insomnia and the dreams.  Fuck that shit.  Curtain and Servo really, really don't like that sleep schedule.  They worry about my health.  They shouldn't worry.  I can handle it.  I'm more concerned about their safety than my own, anyway.  They're in danger because of me, so if something bad happens to them it's because of me and I don't want anything bad to happen to them because of me because enough bad things have been my fault already and I just want to do what's right and not have anyone get hurt or anything but it's so much harder than I'd have ever expected because morality can be so damn gray and subjective and sometimes none of the options seem right and goddamn it these are emotions.

Still working on the hiding emotions thing.  Anyway.

Our main strategy right now is to basically ride this out until WhiteDress replaces me.  Which I hope is soon, because winter rapidly approaches.  Because running in winter could seriously suck.  Funny enough, back when I was on the run the first time I sometimes thought to myself "Look on the bright side!  At least it isn't winter!" because I am just AWESOME at tempting fate like that.  Of course, winter is somewhat good, too, because waterproof gear is super easy to find around now.  And waterproof gear is imperative for when it snows so I don't die while playing in said snow.  Because I fully intend to play in the snow, no matter how idiotic that may be.  The reasoning behind it is complicated and I don't feel like explaining it here and you likely wouldn't get it anyway.

I've also managed to get in contact with my grandfather.  Apparently he picked a fight with someone he shouldn't have, and now he's in a bind.  I can't elaborate for security reasons and also because that's all he told me.  I should point out that he is much, much worse than me when it comes to avoiding these types of situations.  I mainly end up here due to a lack of foresight.  He intentionally picks fights.  My trolling is nothing compared to his, and unlike him I almost never mean any harm by it.  Anyway, I'm gonna start ranting on how much of an asshole he is, so I'm gonna derail that train of thought.  We've agreed not to meet up since he knows some Theurgy and Mist Travel and whatnot and I went to enough goddamn effort to stop that from being able to track me down.  (I found that Null Stone using his "little black book" of quasi-legal contacts that he gave me, though, so I have to give the guy some credit.)  Unfortunately, he said he'll probably be out of contact for a while.  "Assuming I regain contact at all," he said.  Any news is better than no news, I guess.

I think that's all I have to say that I feel even remotely safe about posting.  Really, even this much is freaking me out a bit.  I figure I should let you guys know at least something instead of leaving you completely in the dark, though.  Until next time, I'm the Doctor.  Stay safe, folks.  ### </made-up-on-the-spot tag>

P.S.  Just found a sticky note folded up in my jacket pocket.  SERVOOOOOO!!!

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